Stalker on the Noose (beg pardon) Loose

Okay, so I've been too busy, tired, lazy, whatever, to write about this guy. I'll make it short, cuz I'm still too busy, tired, lazy, or whatever.

I remember faces. My husband marvels when he sees a "new" actor on the TV screen. I'll answer with, "She's not new. Just a few months back she was an extra in a birth control commercial." So, I noticed this guy lurking at the recent ACFW conference in Minnesota, but that's natural. Everyone lurks. They're either waiting for a workshop, an appointment, or too nervous to approach an agent. But I noticed him hangin' around wherever I was hangin' around.

This dude wore a suit, and although he looked rough around the edges, fit in. It wasn't until Saturday afternoon I met him. He walked into the appointment room at 4:25 with a friend. Apparently, one of the ACFW volunteers gave him 4:00 appointment without informing me. My friend was my 4:15, but he'd kept her out of the room, blocking her way and telling her I wasn't in there. Weird, but I didn't know this until later. I know, move on. Okay, I made appointments for both to meet me in the bar later, and I apologized I'd missed his appointment with me.

When I trotted on down there, they were sittin' at a table, and I waved him over. He told my friend to join us as he said he'd just told her everything. I figured he'd practiced his pitch on her. Nope, cuz I never got a pitch. I did hear some weird stuff, like he and I were destined to be together. That God had shown him my face (which I found funny, cuz when he first approached my friend, he thought she was me). I was to be his agent; I would work with him on his journey, yadda, yadda. I won't go into all the stuff, but he was jacked-no doubt about it.

He slid me one of those padded faux leather folders and showed me he'd handwritten his e-mail address on the back of the last page. He slid the folder back under his hand, and kept patting it. After more talkin' that made no sense, he offered us a drink. I told him I'd just had a stiff Shirley Temple, and couldn't have another before the banquet. I asked if he was going to the banquet, and he said no, he was going home right then. He'd just come to meet me. He pushed me the folder/binder over, and made for the exit. I put the submission in my briefcase without crackin' it open.

Off to my room to get ready for the banquet. Oh, had a great time there.

When I made it back to my room, my roomy had left a note on my bed attached to a letter she said someone had shoved under the door. Hmm.

I opened the envelope. I'm staring at "Kelly. Kelly Gottuso." (My maiden name. Remember I'm 100% Imported). I have five Web sites, and none of 'em state my maiden name. Under that: "The Master, The Master has use of your talents." (Yeah, I gotta get rid of that repetition.) Yep, he signed it-although he'd given my friend a different name.

Grrr. The front desk did not give him my room number, and it was a secluded room, not easy to find. I got lost the first time I tried to find it.

I go for my briefcase and grab the padded presentation folder, then open it. First thing I see is a fresh flower, pressed down by the folder, then the pages. Son-of-a-seahorse. The font is bold, and in my logo letterhead; the paper, parchment. I recognize it instantly. Why? Because he'd sent this to me before. About six months ago.

This time he'd added extra touches like burning the edges of the paper and including a small golden key on a scarlet ribbon. "For ours is a universe romanced-romanced in harmony-where every step we take's a note-and every thought's a key-." And how about, "Peace be still, you, my flame-[blank] is my name. It's been said in Psalms of old, signs are often rare-and angels are the messengers that repeat the words we share. Look inside and realize, indeed they're always there! With flaming swords and burning sabers, or a cross we cannot bear." One more, "I gazed at the mirage along a corridor of composition-an illusion predestined for someone to meet-so intrigued by the vision." (I ain't intrigued.)

Okay, you get the idea. Enough said on that score. I decided I'd keep this "submission," although I'd tossed the one I'd received before. That time, I answered politely that I didn't represent poetry.

I wondered if this guy actually had an appointment, or mayhap I didn't know about that 4:00, cuz there wasn't one. (For the record, he's not a member of ACFW, but came late and paid the non-member fee, and he did have the appointment.)

Next morning, I exit the hotel and roll my bag toward the cab when someone puts a hand on my shoulder. I turn with a smile, which quickly fades. Guess who? How'd he know I wasn't attending closing services? How'd he know when I'd be leaving for the airport? Why didn't he go home the previous night as he said he would? Dunno, but he gave me an intense stare and said, "Don't forget me. Don't forget my name...."

I haven't. I won't.

I figure you're reading this, dude, and I got a message for ya. You're Italian, so you know the code. You know where I am; come and get me. Essere un uomo. Don't fly to conferences I'm attending, endangering my friends. Meet me on my turf. But don't forget your Kevlar, cuz I don't even open my door without my sidearm strapped on. (Fuchsia belt, of course. Haveta stay fashionable.) Taurus revolvers don't jam, my man. Wanna try me? If the gun doesn't scare ya, mayhap my 115-pound English Foxhound will. He's quite protective. If all else fails, I can dislocate your knee in a split-second, and crush your windpipe in another.

Catch me out? When on errands, I tote my Tanto knife in whichever of the custom-made handbags I've created and carry (sorry, shameless plug), as well as mace. Stilettos work nicely in a pinch. (I'm a resourceful sort.)

Anytime, dude. But I warn ya, you're messin' with the wrooong gal. I've faced worse in my sorry life and you don't scare me-not even a tad. I've got a nice spot on the back-ten and at least two shovels, bud. Face me head-on, amico, or slink back into your hole. Either way, you'll never get whatever it is you think I'll give ya.

Tocca a te.

 I can't resist a man in uniform. I'm thrilled to sign Matthew "Whiz" Buckley, who writes nonfiction. His book: From Sea Level to C-Level: A Navy Fighter Pilot's Leadership & Business Lessons From the Front Lines to the Front Office draws upon the Navy's unparalleled approach to planning, execution, strategy, and leadership and creates a completely unique set of tools that men and women in any profession can use to drive their careers to new heights. It's written through the eyes of a former Navy fighter pilot with 15 years experience and 44 combat sorties in the cockpit of an F/A-18 Hornet. The book is also written through the eyes of a man who turned his Naval experience into a hugely successful career in corporate America, ascending in one year from Managing Director at a leading Wall Street options trading firm to CEO of a financial media company, the Options News Network, at age 38. 

"Maverick" gives a big Boo-Yah to Whiz!

(Don't panic, y'all. Nonfiction and fiction slots are different.)

 Romance Writers United

Check this organization out. I'm a member. They rock! www.romancewritersunited.com  

The Featured Author schedule for the remainder of October is:

October 20 - October 26: Epstein LaRue
October 27 - November 2: Cricket Sawyer

By Dermot McEvoy -- Publishers Weekly

Sports Publishing LLC of Champaign, Ill, appears to have run out of options in its bid to stay afloat and is reported to be in the process of filing for bankruptcy. According to a source, proceedings have not yet been finalized by the bank, Strategic Capital of Champaign. Sources said only Peter Bannon, president of the company, and Noah Amstadter, the COO, are still working at the company. Both declined to be interviewed by PW.

Early in September PW was notified by several authors or their agents (including Brooklyn Dodger pitching-great Carl Erskine), that they were not being paid for their books. At that time Bannon said he was looking for a buyer, but apparently that effort was unsuccessful. According to PW's source, Ingram is still shipping what inventory they have.  

SONY PRS 700 Portable Reader System: $399

One of the great things about a book, as we all know, is that you can curl up with it in bed, transcend the rigours of modern travel or simply escape while eating alone, bathing or performing other mundane tasks.

Those of us who truly love books (or text, as it is disdainfully called in this digital age), understand that the intimacy of the medium surpasses the mere content of words on a page. And as we also know, reading a book online or printed out doesn't quite replicate the warmth of the original article.

Despite their benefits, books have an Achilles heel: Weight. Lugging books around (as any university student will tell you) is a pain. Enter the ebook, portable electronic devices about the size and heft of a small hard cover which display text and sometimes modest graphics with on-board and supplementary memory cards (memory stick or SD) which can store a virtual library.

These devices are still in their infancy and Sony has just produced the third generation of its reader, barely a year after the sophomore version was launched.

The PRS 700 doesn't replace the PRS 505 Reader but is a premium version. As such, it brings to the table several improvements and though it doesn't quite conquer the venerable book, it does provide an interesting alternative, especially for those who like to devour several tomes simultaneously.

Sony competes in this space with Amazon's Kindle, which was launched a year ago. The test version was clad in a black leather cover and the Reader itself had a black face. I must say my first impression was that the design is not as elegant as the PRS 505 but it may be that the predecessor I tested had a silver face and more rounded edges which is why it won a 2008 Red Dot award for design.

The dimensions are unchanged at about half-an inch thick (15 mm), and just under

seven by five inches overall (17.8 cm by 12.7 cm), the frame holds a six inch diagonal screen which weighs a little more than 10 ounces (337 grams) with the cover.

Unlike the PRS 505, gone are the two round multifunction thumb buttons at the lower left and right and the series of small rectangular buttons along the right edge of the screen.

They're replaced with a touch screen and seven discreet chrome rectangular buttons along the bottom of the screen, with an on and off and the new two level LED backlighting control built into the sides, top and bottom.

It comes with a built-in stylus, but readers can also simply turn pages by rubbing their finger or thumb across the screen, though it's a bit counter intuitive at first since to go forward you stroke from left to right which is directionally correct but the opposite action when turning the pages of a real book.

There's also support for a virtual keyboard, to allow annotations and notes and a volume control with headphone jack to play music while you read, though it might be interesting to read along with an audio book, especially while learning another language.

There's also a selection of five font sizes and double the internal memory at 512 Mb with two slots for SD and Memory cards taking the capacity of books and files which can be loaded into the hundreds if not thousands. There's added support for PDF files including zooming -- and an interesting feature is the ability to turn the reader on its side and orientate the text accordingly, making for a more comfortable reading in larger fonts. But there is still no support for colour.

Given the added features, the price has predictably jumped, to $399 from $299).

CEOs Address Economy and More

A panel discussion convened at the Frankfurt Book Fair with John Makinson (Penguin Group), Brian Murray (HarperCollins), and Arnaud Nourry (Lagardere Publishing).

Makinson suggested that once the economic crisis has stabilized, publishers will need to make structural adjustments in the role that some wholesalers play as Britain's EUK is threatened by the instability of their corporate parent, Woolworth's. "One concern I do have is whether the merchandising wholesaler model, where a number of these credit issues have been focused not just recently, but going back to AMS in the US and Thomas Cork before that in the UK is a sustainable model for the distribution of books.

"I think once we get through this we should sit down with those major customers in the US and UK and say, 'Is there not a better way to supply books, in terms of the ordering and fulfillment of books, or just the purchasing terms,' because it's not a sustainable model in my opinion....

"These organizations don't have big enough capital bases to support that amount of credit risk is what it comes down to, so if you can shift the credit risk to the purchasing company then you have a model which may work....but I don't think it works as it is structured at the moment."

Murray suggested that one model being discussed in both the UK and the US would leave the existing relationships in place but change the terms. "You can still have a wholesaler who performs a role. It's that the financing and where the debt is can be differently structured. They can still be selecting titles, but the credit can be between the publisher and the large retailer, and that wholesaler can, for a fee, provide the same service that they do today. It's just a slightly different business arrangement, and other media businesses work that way." He noted "there have been a few trials in that area, so I think going forward it's something that the industry should look very closely at."

While Nourry acknowledged that "in the US, the situation at Borders is attracting all our attention," he noted that "I don't see the banks pushing Borders into bankruptcy in the short term, and I'm rather confident about the next six or nine months for these big accounts."

While the economy presents near-term challenges, the group also believed that it will create opportunities for large, well-capitalized publishers. Murray said, "That's the flip side of all this change that we're going through. With dynamic change there are going to be new opportunities that are going to develop. We're trying to sort them out and see if there are some big moves we should consider. We think there are going to be some shakeouts in the industry. We have to position ourselves to see if there a move we want to move in the next six or 12 months."

Nourry pointed out that "within the last two or three years some major publishing companies, particularly in education, have been acquired by highly-leveraged private equity funds.... I'm sure that within the next months some of these companies will have to sell some of the assets back, and we'll be there...to make these acquisitions."

On Hachette's standoff with Amazon in the UK over business terms, Nourry said there was no progress to report. "At this point, it looks like they are not considering having these discussions right now." He said, "I find the British market quite wild in the way retailers and publishers discuss terms. We cannot give away two or three points ever year and we finally had to say 'no.'" But of course, "There is no permanent 'no' in business. It's just a matter of resuming the discussions."

Mortimer Literary's Mentorship Award is Here!

Well, it isn't here. It's not a tangible award...

What is the Mentorship Award? I designed it to take a newbie writer, and in one year, teach said writer what it takes to get published. This includes my advice, and line edits, but you gotta have the idea. At the end of 12 months, I hope to represent this writer and sell their manuscript.

You must have at least 50 pages written in order to apply, and must follow the entry instructions to the letter. If ya don't, you're out.

I have a lot of friends, and I wanna keep 'em, so this is blind for me, like a contest entry. Any hint of who you are, and you're out. Don't send something I've read before. Your directions are below. Away we go...

·        Submit: Three pages as attachments in a single e-mail. Subject of the email should be:    Kelly's Competition - (Title of Your Entry)

·        A cover page in Microsoft Word  (.doc). Cover page includes: entrant's name, mailing address, telephone number, fax number (if you have one), e-mail address, and the entry title. Name the file: cover.doc .

·        The first page of your completed manuscript or work-in-progress. Font must be in either Times New Roman or Courier New, 12 pt. Page must have 1" margins, and no more than 300 words. The only identification in the header is the genre/sub genre. (eg: Paranormal Romance, Inspirational Historical, etc.) All genres accepted except Romantic Suspense, Inspirational Romantic Suspense, (Have enough great authors in these areas. Sorry!) and Erotica or Romantica).
The entrant's name must not appear anywhere in the entry file. There must
be no language, symbol, or other information on the page that indicates the entrant's identity. Name the file: entry.doc .

·        A one-page essay on why I should choose you as the winner of the Mentorship Award. If you give me a clue as to who you are, you're out. Seems harsh, but y'all are writers. Be ingenious! Same formatting rules for this page as for the entry page. Name the file: essay.doc .

That's all for this week. May God bless and keep you.

Kelly